Incredible! He woke up to eat...played a bit...and decided he wanted to nap again. He's sitting here next to me on the boppy and looking like he wouldn't even be capable of babystorm 2008 (aka the plane ride home from SF).
I can't believe I have a baby.
He's here...with an incredible passel of dreaming expressions: smiles, grimaces, cartoon frowns...he's here and I get to claim him as mine.
It's so odd and wondrous that he's here. Sometimes I think that I'm so flummoxed by it all because I didn't birth him. I mean, he came from me...but I only know that because they told me he did. I went into a room and there was a sheet hiding the lower half of my body and then suddenly like a rabbit pulled from a hat...someone (I think Lee) came around the curtain to present me with this little pale, bundled, shocked person.
I didn't love him right away. I feel weird saying that...but I didn't. What I did feel was a mama tiger protectiveness that was beyond anything I'd ever felt in intensity. I love him now...and it has surpassed that initial feeling by whole galaxies in strength. In fact...every time I try to talk about how I feel about him...I start to cry.
Monday, June 30, 2008
He's napping...
So, I swore I was going to be committed to writing a little bit each day...needless to say...this is my first post post-baby....I really over estimated how much energy I'd have. ha. I think one of my biggest problems is that I want it to be perfect...and I'm learning that nothing in a parent's life will ever be perfect...timing, laundry, housework...nothing. Oh well...I'm starting to get over it.
I can't really start from the beginning because too much has happened....so we'll just start here and now.
He's napping. Without being on the monitor. argh. I'm the worst mom EVER.
When I was pregnant I did a lot of research. I ended up on a website about SIDS and got totally freaked out and bought a sleep monitor that alarms if the baby stops breathing. I swore I'd never put him down without using it. Then he came along and I've had to readjust a little bit. It seems that babies don't always want to sleep even when they HAVE to...I mean he has to. Seriously. We got back from San Francisco (to see the cousins) and he's been eating at weird times and not napping. Today I tried everything I could think of...the yoga ball, the rocking chair, the stroller, more food, burping, changing his diaper. I probably over stimulated him....
anyway...the only thing that worked was laying down with him on our bed and then slowly inching each part of my body away over the course of an hour.
He's napping.
I can't really start from the beginning because too much has happened....so we'll just start here and now.
He's napping. Without being on the monitor. argh. I'm the worst mom EVER.
When I was pregnant I did a lot of research. I ended up on a website about SIDS and got totally freaked out and bought a sleep monitor that alarms if the baby stops breathing. I swore I'd never put him down without using it. Then he came along and I've had to readjust a little bit. It seems that babies don't always want to sleep even when they HAVE to...I mean he has to. Seriously. We got back from San Francisco (to see the cousins) and he's been eating at weird times and not napping. Today I tried everything I could think of...the yoga ball, the rocking chair, the stroller, more food, burping, changing his diaper. I probably over stimulated him....
anyway...the only thing that worked was laying down with him on our bed and then slowly inching each part of my body away over the course of an hour.
He's napping.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Baby Bird
I'm reading the book Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott. If you are a parent or becoming a parent...you must read it. Be prepared to laugh out loud and to have that laugh metamorphose into a sob. In a really good way....I promise.It got me thinking....I want to keep notes on this parenting thing even if it's just a line or 2 every day. There's too much that happens. I'm already forgetting some of it and the baby bird is still IN me.
Posted by Laureline at 9:12 PM 0 comments
Posted by Laureline at 9:12 PM 0 comments
I'm All For Censorship in Pregnancy
Sunday, October 21, 2007
What the @%*&? Are pregnant women really so hypnotic that completely normal people lose their socially appropriate filter?There are the comments about my changing body:"You know...you really shouldn't be showing by now." (I have no idea why it looks like I've gained 10 lbs when I've only gained 4...this is the first time I've ever done this and my body has a mind of its own)"It really helped when I was about to eat...to remind myself that the baby was only the size of a piece of rice....it helped me to snack on ice and not gain as much weight." (This is not the time to diet...and snacking on ice is a sign of iron deficiency)"Look at how big your belly is already!" (f*%k you.)There are the comments about my personal choices:After asking about whether I'm planning a medication-free birth, "You're really setting yourself up for failure."After asking which hospital I'm delivering at: "A birth center? Don't you realize that if something goes wrong you'll always blame yourself? You're using a midwife? Why on earth would you do that when you can have a doctor?"People aren't interested in my choices or why I've made them...they're interested in voicing their own opinion or justifying their own choices. I'm taking my mother's advice...and will be responding to any future questions with one response..."Why do you ask?"Actually, it dawns on me that it's not just pregnant women. It's our fertility...even the possibility of children...the fact that we might be a particular age or recently married....absolutely strips people of common sense and makes them feel like they can comment on literally the most intimate parts of our lives and bodies.It is definitely time for a little Emily Post.1. The only 2 people in a woman's life who can safely comment or question a woman's weight gain are her doctor and her best friend. The only safe or acceptable thing to say to a pregnant woman if you are not her doctor or best friend is "You look beautiful!"2. Do not ask personal questions and then debate them. Decisions like epidural or not, doctor or midwife, bradley method or lamaze, birth center or labor & delivery ward....are not up for discussion unless you are a family member.3. Don't ever touch someone's belly. Ever. It's not ok. You must ask....yes....grandma & grandpa....even you. If you don't understand this....rub your significant other's stomach without warning and see the reaction you get from them...and they get naked in front of you! No one likes to be unexpectedly touched there.4. Baby names are not up for discussion...unless you are going to point out something absolutely necessary that possibly the parents haven't picked up on....like the baby's initials will spell out ASS.This is certain to be an ever evolving list....I'll leave off for now...
What the @%*&? Are pregnant women really so hypnotic that completely normal people lose their socially appropriate filter?There are the comments about my changing body:"You know...you really shouldn't be showing by now." (I have no idea why it looks like I've gained 10 lbs when I've only gained 4...this is the first time I've ever done this and my body has a mind of its own)"It really helped when I was about to eat...to remind myself that the baby was only the size of a piece of rice....it helped me to snack on ice and not gain as much weight." (This is not the time to diet...and snacking on ice is a sign of iron deficiency)"Look at how big your belly is already!" (f*%k you.)There are the comments about my personal choices:After asking about whether I'm planning a medication-free birth, "You're really setting yourself up for failure."After asking which hospital I'm delivering at: "A birth center? Don't you realize that if something goes wrong you'll always blame yourself? You're using a midwife? Why on earth would you do that when you can have a doctor?"People aren't interested in my choices or why I've made them...they're interested in voicing their own opinion or justifying their own choices. I'm taking my mother's advice...and will be responding to any future questions with one response..."Why do you ask?"Actually, it dawns on me that it's not just pregnant women. It's our fertility...even the possibility of children...the fact that we might be a particular age or recently married....absolutely strips people of common sense and makes them feel like they can comment on literally the most intimate parts of our lives and bodies.It is definitely time for a little Emily Post.1. The only 2 people in a woman's life who can safely comment or question a woman's weight gain are her doctor and her best friend. The only safe or acceptable thing to say to a pregnant woman if you are not her doctor or best friend is "You look beautiful!"2. Do not ask personal questions and then debate them. Decisions like epidural or not, doctor or midwife, bradley method or lamaze, birth center or labor & delivery ward....are not up for discussion unless you are a family member.3. Don't ever touch someone's belly. Ever. It's not ok. You must ask....yes....grandma & grandpa....even you. If you don't understand this....rub your significant other's stomach without warning and see the reaction you get from them...and they get naked in front of you! No one likes to be unexpectedly touched there.4. Baby names are not up for discussion...unless you are going to point out something absolutely necessary that possibly the parents haven't picked up on....like the baby's initials will spell out ASS.This is certain to be an ever evolving list....I'll leave off for now...
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