Sunday, October 21, 2007
What the @%*&? Are pregnant women really so hypnotic that completely normal people lose their socially appropriate filter?There are the comments about my changing body:"You know...you really shouldn't be showing by now." (I have no idea why it looks like I've gained 10 lbs when I've only gained 4...this is the first time I've ever done this and my body has a mind of its own)"It really helped when I was about to eat...to remind myself that the baby was only the size of a piece of rice....it helped me to snack on ice and not gain as much weight." (This is not the time to diet...and snacking on ice is a sign of iron deficiency)"Look at how big your belly is already!" (f*%k you.)There are the comments about my personal choices:After asking about whether I'm planning a medication-free birth, "You're really setting yourself up for failure."After asking which hospital I'm delivering at: "A birth center? Don't you realize that if something goes wrong you'll always blame yourself? You're using a midwife? Why on earth would you do that when you can have a doctor?"People aren't interested in my choices or why I've made them...they're interested in voicing their own opinion or justifying their own choices. I'm taking my mother's advice...and will be responding to any future questions with one response..."Why do you ask?"Actually, it dawns on me that it's not just pregnant women. It's our fertility...even the possibility of children...the fact that we might be a particular age or recently married....absolutely strips people of common sense and makes them feel like they can comment on literally the most intimate parts of our lives and bodies.It is definitely time for a little Emily Post.1. The only 2 people in a woman's life who can safely comment or question a woman's weight gain are her doctor and her best friend. The only safe or acceptable thing to say to a pregnant woman if you are not her doctor or best friend is "You look beautiful!"2. Do not ask personal questions and then debate them. Decisions like epidural or not, doctor or midwife, bradley method or lamaze, birth center or labor & delivery ward....are not up for discussion unless you are a family member.3. Don't ever touch someone's belly. Ever. It's not ok. You must ask....yes....grandma & grandpa....even you. If you don't understand this....rub your significant other's stomach without warning and see the reaction you get from them...and they get naked in front of you! No one likes to be unexpectedly touched there.4. Baby names are not up for discussion...unless you are going to point out something absolutely necessary that possibly the parents haven't picked up on....like the baby's initials will spell out ASS.This is certain to be an ever evolving list....I'll leave off for now...
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